Jesus Style Leadership/Parenting part 1

May 15, 2023

I had the incredible honor of preaching at HopeFront Church, where they were studying the teachings of the book of Ephesians.  Any guess what the topic was? (to hear the sermon, go here)

PARENTING - Jesus style parenting.   

Jesus wasn’t a parent, but he did take care of 12 teenage boys for a few years.   And when Jesus left them, they turned the world upside down, for the cause of christ.   

(Because leadership is influence, I am going to use the term leadership instead of parenting as we look at how Jesus led.   However, if you are a parent, just substitute the word parenting for leadership.)    

His leadership style was unique, impactful, and continues to inspire millions of people around the world. 

So let’s explore the stages of Jesus-style leadership, highlighting the essence of empowerment, collaboration, and continuity that it embodies.

Stage 1: "I do it and they watch" - Leading by Example

Jesus began his leadership journey by leading through personal example. 

He demonstrated compassion, humility, and love in every action he took. From healing the sick to washing the feet of his disciples, Jesus taught the importance of serving others. 

By performing acts of service himself, he set the standard for us to follow.   

This stage of leadership is marked by inspiration and influence.    More is caught than taught, so your actions are speaking way louder than your words. 

What are your kids observing?

How do you treat their mom or dad?  

Do you display the fruit of the spirit or the acts of the flesh?

Fruit of the Spirit:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.  Galatians 5: 22 

Acts of the flesh:

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5: 19  


How do you talk?

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4: 29


What do you watch?

I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar. I hate all who deal crookedly;   I will have nothing to do with them.  Psalm 101:3


Do they see you pray?

Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray.  Mark 1:35 (NLT)


Do they see you read your Bible?  

Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. Joshua 1:8 (NLT)


How do you dress?  

And I want women to be modest in their appearance.[a] They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. 10 For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do. 

1Timothy 2:9-10


What kind of music do you listen to?

I will sing a new song to you, O God!   I will sing your praises with a ten-stringed harp.  Psalm144:9 (NLT)

What are your kids observing?  Don't just be a hearing of the word, but do what it says.   


Put this into action: 

Be honest with yourself and so some self evaluation.  Look over your day, look over your week, look over the past year and what do you observe?

Ask your spouse what they are observing in these areas?

Ask your kids how they see you in these areas?

Ask a close mentor or friend who will speak truth, what they observe.



Ask the Holy Spirit which areas need to change and which area needs to change first.

Ask for forgiveness for sinning against God and not leading or parenting by example.

Then if needed ask your kids and or spouse to forgive you.

Ask God to fill you with His power for you to make the changes you need to.   


Here are some parenting resources you can check out:


  1. Parent Cue -  lots of resources for every age.
  2. Jimmy Evans - 7 Secrets to Successful Families
  3. Don’t Make Me Count to Three - 
  4. Focus on the Family  -
  5. Growing Families - 


PS - stay tuned for parts 2,3, and 4.