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Healthy Communication

Communication can be so hard, yet it is vital to every relationship.

On Sunday, Matt and I spoke together about communication. I have learned over the years that if we would study the Bible and then apply it, it would make a big difference in our communication.

The Bible has so much to say about how to communicate.

Ephesians 4:29

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

If we just applied this verse, it would change a lot. But, if I thought through everything I was going to say and said it in such a way that was good and helpful, even when correcting, how different would my relationships be?

Luke 6:45

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.

If foul or abusive language comes out of your mouth, check your heart. Stop blaming other people for what is coming out of your mouth, start to take ownership, and get help if needed.

James 1:19

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Just start listing more than you talk. Listen to what people are saying and what they are not saying. God gave us two ears and one mouth so we could listen more. And don’t just listen, anticipating when you can jump in and share your thoughts, listen to listen.

Ephesians 4:26-27

And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

So many people are not sleeping well at night, and it is because they are going to bed angry. Learn to forgive. I talk about how to forgive in my book Moving Forward. It only takes one to forgive and two to reconcile a relationship.

Proverbs 18:13

To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.

Again, listen intently before answering. Listen for feelings and emotions. You will be surprised at what you learn.

Proverbs 18:2

Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.

Don’t be a fool. Seek to understand.

Proverbs 12:18

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Would your kids, wife, co-workers say that your words are healing or wounding? Are they reckless and all over the place? Are you piercing people’s emotions with your words?

Proverbs 18:21

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

The principle, you reap what you sow, is in this verse. Are you speaking life or death? Whichever one you choose is the fruit you will eat. So choose well.

There are so many more verses, but the important thing is to apply scripture to your life. So pick a verse and start applying it. Memorize it and put action behind it. If you are not sure what to do or say or how to apply the verse, ask the Holy Spirit to help you. To give you the words, to show you, and if you ask, He will answer.

So which verse will you choose? I will focus on Ephesians 4:29. I want everything I say to make people better and feel encouraged and like they can do things, even the hard things.

If you missed my and Matt’s message, you can listen here.